In which I ruminate on things Gothique

At our Pottering dinner Saturday night, the topic briefly turned to my recent rediscovery of my inner Goth. Arwen said that she'd never gone through that phase, and Rivka wrinkled her nose and agreed. Likewise, Chris maintains that he is not - never has been - Gothique. My mother never did understand the concept. Rivka's response got me to thinking about the concept, what it means to me, and the reasons for an apparent distaste for Gothness among family and SCA friends.

Let me first point out that in the title, I have used an alternative spelling of Gothic, to make a distinction between historical European Gothic (which I of course do) and the modern or neo-Gothic. Just to be clear - I do Gothic; I'd like to do more Gothique.

Way back when in the eighties, I was Gothique. Probably due in large part to the influence of Bret and friends, my hair was short and spiky, my clothing was typically dark, tailored and eccentric. I recall some favorite shirts that were dark and very textural; my jeans were black, and my footwear was a pair of cotton canvas boots to which I'd tied some orange, purple and black warp ends. I typically wore dark glasses (even after dark), which allowed me to people-watch without appearing to be rude. My music has always been eclectic, and although I did listen to some bands that might be considered "goth", it wasn't an exclusive thing. I listened to a lot of punk and new wave - music that has become typically 80's. I find that rather funny. Many Goths find classical and Medieval music to their liking, too.

The punkers of the 80's broke into a couple of sub-cultures. Those who couldn't maintain the punkers' extroverted lifestyles developed into the more introspective aesthetically inspired Gothique sub-culture. What distinguishes Gothiques? It's both a mindset and a dress code. Goths typically reject trendy people and ideas. They are the image of the artistic temperament. They are creative. They might maintain a cool, unemotional demeanor while being subject to inner turmoil, anger, or depression. They might be melodramatic. They tend to be introspective, and value personal expression and tolerance of diversity. They read a lot, both fiction and non-fiction. They're smart. Things that frighten or disturb people (death, creepy-crawlies, evil, sin, pain) are seen as beautiful; things that might be distasteful could be seen as artful.

The dress code is the stereotypical - but not compulsory - black clothing which frequently exhibits historical influences. Medieval (really 19th century Medieval Revival) and Victorian themes predominate. Colors range across the spectrum, excluding pastels and neons which are seen as trendy. The head-to-toe unified impression is important in Gothique dressing. Gold is not commonly worn, but any of the jewel tones, silver, grey, and white are found. The clothing is sometimes hand- or custom-made, but there are a few retailers out there selling Gothique clothing. Clothing is seen as an expression of uniqueness, as well as a mask or an impression of the character of the wearer.

So, how do these things apply to me? What aspects of my personality are Gothique? There isn't a checklist, but I do tend to display the following characteristics, characteristics that have been part of my personality since my late teens.

• I tend toward the artistic temperament. Although I'm probably more animated and passionate than the normal Goth, I do tend to suffer from anxiety, insecurity, and depression. Although suffering is a natural part of living, I may depart from the Gothique tendency here in that I believe that part of our humanity is to be found in alleviating suffering.
• I try mightily to control my external demeanor. I have spent years trying to project a certain image or expression based upon the need of the environment. I'm still learning to maintain a cool exterior when logic says that I should be throttling someone for being stupid.
• I read a lot. Both fiction and non-fiction are reading "for pleasure".
• I believe strongly in diversity and self-expression. I crave the companionship of people who are different from myself, and although I feel a little awkward about it, I try to learn about the things that make them different.
• I find beauty in things generally considered beautiful, but also in things that might be distasteful or ruined. I like things that go bump in the night; I like mystery.
• I find old things to be more interesting than mainstream ideas, things, and practices. Goths feel like they will be able to survive when modern society crashes and burns from it's own weight.
• I've always loved history. Goths tend to admire historical things - literature, architecture, and clothing - and many of them study things that are Gothic. Castles, cathedrals or illuminated manuscripts might be the inspiration for clothing or home embellishment.
• I find nature - all of it - to be beautiful. I like spiders, bats, snakes, and mice as much as flowers and mountains. I like bare trees as much as full ones. I like darkest night and moonlight maybe a little more than daylight, although daylight has the advantage of making gardening easier.
• I see death as a natural part of life, and although I struggle with this, my mind knows that death should be embraced as strongly as life when death becomes more comfortable than living. I don't crave death or partake in what is termed as the cult of death, but I do see it as the compliment to living, rather than a thing of evil. (Taking of human life is evil.)
• I like wearing black. It doesn't predominate in my wardrobe, but you'll likewise find very little pastel and no neon. My tastes tend toward the dramatic - if it wasn't considered unprofessional, I'd wear a lot more velvet and lace to work. Luckily black is considered professional. In general, I choose purples and warm blues or reds to pair with black. I think it's pretty cool that beaded clothing has become more mainstream.
• I fuss with shoes matching socks, or socks matching the clothing. I try to achieve an over-all impression in dressing. I find it difficult. I may go through two or six combinations before deciding on any one thing.
  
• Although I don't like to draw a lot of attention to my fingernails - they're never neat enough - I do paint my toenails. And it's never a mainstream color. Iridescent purple/green, red/gold or blue/silver are my favorites.
• My jewelry has always been silver. I have very little gold. Even if I wear gold, I pair it with silver. Even my wedding band is yellow and white gold.
• I started "costuming" in high school. The first clothing I made was Japanese, and screen-printed by hand. In college I experimented with making art-clothing, and then got involved with the SCA. Recently I've discovered Harry Potter-universe fantasy clothing, and Halloween clothing.
• The sub-culture just has more interesting people than the mainstream.

More importantly, I think that the things that make me "Gothique" are more similar than different from my SCA friends.

• Artistic temperament? The SCA is full of 'em! We've all got some sort of drama going on.
• Control my external demeanor? It's considered a Peer-Like Quality in the SCA. In the face of turmoil, I have cultivated the Mona Lisa smile in an effort to keep people from thinking that they have provoked me.
• We tend to read a lot. There's a lot of research that goes on in the SCA and we wouldn't do it if it wasn't fun.
• Diversity and self expression? Heck, I live in the "you can't tell us what to wear/think/do" Kingdom. The good part of this is that we can pursue authenticity, but we have to allow the fantasy folks and the ones that think they know what they're taking about, and the ones who use their position to increase their own self importance, and yes, the Goths.
• I find fun in things generally considered to be too much trouble to be worth the effort. I like to be authentic; I think it's fun to get inside the mindset of a 15th century woman.
• The Medieval/Renaissance is frequently more interesting than mainstream ideas, things, and practices. SCA folks feel like we will be able to survive when modern society fails - we know how to stay warm when the electricity goes out.
• SCAers share a love of history. Many of us concentrate on or specialize in the architecture, clothing, or illuminated manuscripts of the Gothic era.
• Death probably occupied more of the psyche of Medieval people than it does today. It was certainly more prevalent and arrived earlier. I'm not sure this was a bad thing, since many times to prolong life is to prolong suffering.
• I like wearing clothing that transports me into another - a Gothic - mindset. Black isn't a common period color due to the expense and effort of creating the dye. Luckily jewel tones predominate in period clothing, and so I can still wear colors that I look and feel good wearing. I'm a bit of a magpie; I love beads.
• For an authentic look, medieval dressing must present an overall impression. This means head to toe - headwear and shoes. It takes more effort but it's worth it.
• It's good that my toenails are hidden in period footwear.
• We get to play dress-up in the SCA, and it necessitates hand-made clothing.
• The SCA just has more interesting people than the mainstream.

In short, the SCA lifestyle closely parallels Gothique lifestyle. Ok, the clothing is different. I've seen people wear SCA clothes to work, and people wear Gothique clothes to work; neither are exactly professional, so we both have to capitulate to the modern office aesthetic. The SCA is closer to Gothique than the mainstream is to the SCA. Right? So why the rejection of the culture by SCAers?

Is it because the Gothique stereotype carries with it overtones of Satanism, morbidity, violence and Marilyn Manson? Maybe. But like most stereotypes, these things aren't necessarily a part of Gothic culture - they're probably more prevalent among the punkers. To attract attention because we're dressed "funny" shouldn't be an issue, because we routinely go out after events in period clothing. Things that other people find tiresome, tedious, or distasteful are attractive to us, like those of us who strive for authenticity, or who prefer hand-made "scrolls" to computer-generated ones.

Yes, I've probably got the Gothique mindset; I'm working on the dress code. The problem is that I have a need to be corporate. Corporate is not Goth. Well, mostly. Although the lace, velvet, and period dress forms would be considered over-the-top in corporate-land, black is pretty much the corporate-formal uniform.

I've been building my black wardrobe, and thinking that I can pair a long black jacket with a red, purple, white, or black lace top. I have black slacks and skirts, and a office-wear little black dress. I prefer long skirts anyway. I recently purchased some black undergarments (no, a white bra does not go under a black travel-knit top) and am shopping for said lace tops. Natural fabrics are my style (but travel knit - acetate/spandex - meets my business wardrobe needs) so I'm looking for silk or something equally comfortable. I did pick up two faux wrap sweaters before my last trip that look great on me. Of course they're both black - the other colors offered were pastels. bleah I've been finding some cool antique-looking jewelry out there, and I may start to dabble in makeup for work. The thing about makeup is that I feel like I have to be consistant about it - I can't decide to do it one day but not the next.

Hair is an issue. I can't color it something funky, because it's not corporate, and it's not period-authentic. But I can do wash-out colors if I'm home for more than a week at a time. My casual wardrobe is also an issue, but will serve, since Gothique implies "dressing up" to me. Although my casual wardrobe doesn't have much in the way of holes, when I do buy every-day clothes, I'll be sticking with more of the Gothique colors and styles. Not that I have much in the way of pastels in my closet, but...

Ahh, another diversion, even if it's an old one.